Wednesday, October 22


Hmmmmm Time to "walk the talk"... And I'm starting with the Man in the Mirror... I have a really bad vice, and that is smoking! I've tasted my very first stick of cigarette when I was in Grade School ( Grade VI to be exact)... My Second stick was when I was in College... It has been on and off until I enrolled in Law School where I got hooked... There's no question about it, I'm Hooked... But I do smoke ethically (excuse? justification? nah, just hear me out), I don't smoke in front of my Parents (they do know I smoke), When I was living with my Parents I don't smoke inside the house... I don't smoke in other people's homes, unless they are smoking too... I don't smoke when there's a Baby or a Pregnant Woman near me.. Or when the people I'm talking to don't smoke I don't smoke.. I don't really have urges.. I don't go out in the middle of the night to light a cigarette.. Or stop what I am doing just to get a nicotine fix.. But I do smoke, theres no question about it and I'm not denying it.. I do know the ill-effects of smoking and as much as I want to QUIT, I can't... But I think I WILL! I think I smoke because I am insecure.. I smoke just to be able to fit in with the smokers.. And I thought smoking was cool! Well it was sort of a form of REBELLION.. But I realize I'm only damaging myself.. There was a time when I didn't smoke.. When I was in High School I didn't smoke.. I was an athlete..(so I say) I played soccer football, but when I quit playing when I was in 2nd Year College I started picking up this bad habit.. It was occasional though.. I only smoked when I was out drinking with friends..

Present... Now I smoke at least 6-12 sticks a day.. (I think) and more when I'm out drinking.. Since wifey is away (I'm not blaming her, this is all me), I have all the time on my hands which lead me to light up.. I need to quit now! When I think I still can.. I don't really see any benefit of continuing this bad habit.. It needs a lot of SELF-DISCIPLINE.. Which I think I don't have.. Realizing that this is a bad habit is a step though, and when you know its bad for you there's a tendency to shun away from it..

Let me just take it a day at a time.. Baby steps so they say.. And I just did the First Step, Realizing I don't Need this Habit, I can Live without this Habit.. Realization I think is the first step.. The next step would be finding ways/methods to facilitate the kicking of this Habit.. Wish wifey was beside me to guide/help me through this.. I've heard that withdrawal symptoms include Irritability, Cough and Colds, hmm I don't know what else..

I know I can't do this alone! Suggestions anyone?

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